A Whisper to a Rose

Every single idle moment I have, I remember that night. How can I forget? It was the night my heart broke into a million shards. The road for me was forever blocked, no forks to decide which way to go after this. There’s no turning back, only to move forward. But the question is, where is forward?

I was lost. I forgot how to live. A part of me died that night. And now, I’m like a walking dead; empty and hollow. Wondering and questioning fate for bringing this into my plate. I am mess. I am a wreck. I don’t know how to help myself. But I have to make a strong front. I have to...

Months have passed and yet the feeling of being buried alive is still too strong. I am stuck and confused. My mind wanted to let go and move on but my stubborn heart kept on holding on. Hoping that maybe one day, he’ll get to realize the mistake he’d done. Pathetic I may have been to others but I cannot fool my heart. It has reasons that my mind couldn’t understand. Letting go would simply mean goodbye and forgetting. I don’t want to forget even if it hurts so much. I don’t want to forget everything that we have shared. But that’s just me, and not you.

The days have become so dragging. Being away from you and not being able to communicate with you is just too much to handle. My heart breaks knowing that you’re just near and yet you seemed so far away. The silence between us is so deafening. I missed the days when talking to you was as easy as breathing. I miss the sound of your voice and the warmth of your smile. I miss the way you look at me with those brown eyes and the way your brows tensed up every time you hold back a smile. I miss the way our hands collide as if it were perfectly matched. I miss everything about you but I wonder if you ever missed me too.

Since that night, I was never the same. You did this to me, stole a part of me. How can I go on living with a missing piece? Can I ever be happy again?

I know, I have to let you go. The soonest would be better. It is only my heart that is the problem, because no matter how I reasoned with it, it just won’t listen. It has been too painful already. Knowing that everything was lost in the abyss, you’re not coming back. I know my heart can only hold so much pain, but right now it’s too numb yet to feel anything. I just worry that I might get used to the pain so much that it won’t matter anymore.

For now, I could only hope for your happiness. May you be happy without me… May she be able to make you happy… Your happiness means so much for me, even if it means my downfall I will endure it. I could never thank you enough for coming into my life. I never thought someone like you really exists. More so, I never ever thought that someone like you would make me feel special.

It’s not yet goodbye my Rose. I couldn’t even imagine saying goodbye to you. But for now, I have to say something. Something to make me feel a bit better and to remind myself that despite everything, I still have to live. So let me say – Till then my Rose…

#ChroniclesOfRose