my plea...

Sometimes I wonder whether God is playing games on me. If this was His idea of a joke, then it is not funny at all. How could a joke hurt this bad? How could a joke diminish my self – esteem and self – worth as easily as this? There is nothing comical at all to this - only pain, grief and an overflowing cup of wishful thinking. So if this wasn’t a joke, then what? A lesson to be learned? If so, then He made His point. And it wasn’t just a mere point but a very hard one. It hurts big time and it left me with a scar I’m not sure when it would heal and if I’m still capable of healing. What was the point anyway? It’s as if I’m looking through stained glasses and everything is obscured. It’s as if He wanted me to listen to a song in the FM but all I could access is the AM frequency. I’m not even sure if I’ve learned anything major about it after all. Maybe just this simple realization that nothing is permanent in this world, so try not to hold on to it too much. Then what’s the point of making friends or friendship for that matter when later on these friends will just leave you? What’s the point of allowing them in your life and entrust them with your heart and later on they will just break it? Would this mean that after this we will resurface a stronger and a better version of ourselves? Maybe. But I don’t get it why would I expose myself again and befriend others and allow them to torment me later? Haven’t I had enough? Okay, so would this mean that this has to happen in order to pave way for the existence of “I’m sorry and goodbye”? Oh, come on give me a break! That’s the lamest reasoning I’ve ever heard. I’m so messed up right now… Everything’s hazy and I’m not so sure of anything at all. I am but only one soul among the sea of souls You’ve created, will You care enough to hear my plea? “Father, I need you now more than ever. Enlighten me with the goodness all these things would bring me. I’m only human and I’m having a hard time making sense of what’s happening to me and why. I felt as if You have forsaken me. Father, help me…”

My Game

My ears are still drumming from the vociferous screams at the gym. The eagles soared high as they defended their crown. The pythons danced their way back from last year’s loss and the warriors as always won my heart. Now I can feel the spirit of the game – the game I missed so much. It seems as if it was just yesterday but as I looked back it was more like a decade. My veins are raging for the passion and the euphoria it used to bring. I can only look back and dream… reminiscing.

As I bid the stars farewell tonight I’ll carry with me my treasured memories. Hoping that as I sail towards the sea of dreams, the wind will blew me to the court once again. Every swing… every slide… every sweat… this is my game – mine to play. I’ll hear the cheers as I served the ball – an Ace – I brought it on.

This is my game. This is my passion. My ball – my glory!

Road Trip

Safety is everybody’s concern. Whether we’re at school, walking down the alley or driving a car - we are always on the lookout. Though at times we encounter reckless people, it doesn’t give us the alibi not to be cautious. For all we know, we might end waking up in the hospital or worst in a grave yard.

It’s only nothing but necessary to be on guard especially if you’re off to a road trip this weekend to give your favorite car – a Toyota Camry (http://repairpal.com/toyota-camry-2002) perhaps the work out she needed. So the fun and the adventure that only a road trip offers should not be spoiled by any car troubles. Where’s the fun in that when most of the time you’re fixing your car? That’s why before the green light is on, it’s only best to check whether your tires are in good travel conditions, fuel sufficient to run that extra mile and a wallet stuffed with a bunch of cash. But wait! Don’t forget to check your check engine light (http://repairpal.com/check-engine-light) to know whether your emission control system is not working properly or else a trip to the shop for an auto repair http://repairpal.com is necessary and delay your adventure. And now that everything’s checked, you’re off to go but don’t forget to buckle up for your safety.

But sometimes despite our vigilant efforts for precaution, things just don’t go our way. Regardless of how many times you’ve checked your tires for an instance, you still encounter flat tires along the way. Or perhaps the engine bugged down beyond your capacity to repair it and the only way to fix it is for you to drop it off to a nearby shop. Yet it doesn’t mean that it’s the end of your little escapade. If you’re lucky, you could just drop it off at Chicago auto repair (http://repairpal.com/chicago-auto-repair) and when it’s done you’re back in the road in no time.

A Journey to My Dreams

I’ve been asked to answer one hypothetical question. It supposed to be easy and my answer should have flowed to me smoothly. But

unfortunately, my brain just couldn’t unearth any idea and now I’m facing a dilemma. As the time ticked by, I’m becoming more vexed knowing that I couldn’t come up with an answer. And it finally hit me… what’s missing is an inspiration.

I asked my class about their ideas. I just knew that from them I could drew out the inspiration that I shoddily needed. Good heavens, I wasn’t mistaken.

A few were chosen to read out loud and share their unsullied ideas in front of the class. Right then, I knew that I have found m

y inspiration – my class. I could feel it slowly vibrating inside of me as fresh ideas flooded my brain. I just couldn’t wait to write it down for fear that it might evaporate and leave me as empty as I was before.

So, I asked myself again – If you were to ride a vehicle towards your dreams, what would it be and why?”

I simply put, not everybody are strong and tough enough to face the challenges in life. A fair few retreated even if they hadn’t started ou

t yet. A fair few on the other hand just doesn’t give a damn about it – why bother at all. And with that, I chose the Roller Coaster as my means of transport towards achieving my dreams. It sounds silly, right? But I have my reasons. Only the brave and sturdy spirits take life as a challenge and not as a burden. And I for one believed that the ups and downs were just part of it and it happens for a reason – and that is to mold us to become a better person. Failures and disappointments hone us to become a tougher person. And the triumphs and achievements gained were mere rewards for our patience and hard work – the fruits of our labor. The roller coaster offers us the excitement and thrill during the course of the journey. We meet new faces and they share with us their share of the journey too. We cannot stop because the only route we need to take is to move on and enjoy the ride. Quitters lose because they never reached the destination. After all, what makes the ride worthwhile is whether you enjoyed every single second of it – be it good or bad.

And now that I have finally answered the question let me share a few of the inspiring thoughts my students gave me…and with that I’m very thankful for all of you guys!!!

Magdayo, Marie Cris wrote:

“If I were a vehicle, I would be a Kalesa. It would not run without a horse and in my life I can’t run without my inspirations – my family, friends and most especially God. The Kalesa becomes heavier when someone is riding it but still it continues to move because of the horse. Just like me, whenever problems become heavier I would just think about my inspiration so that I could continue to fight for my dreams.”

Docotr, Darlene wrote:

“If I were a vehicle, I wil be a Trisikad, not because it doesn’t need a fuel to run but because it requires strength and hard work for it to move. Just like me, I need to exert strength and determination to face every problem that will be thrown at me.”

Uy, Jacqueline wrote:

“A spaceship because when I dream, I make it to a point that I shoot for the moon. At least if I fail, I’ll still end up among the starts.”

Guipetacio, Meare wrote:

“If I were a vehicle, I would be a Rela. It runs slowly but we are sure that no matter happens we will arrive to the place we want to go. I want to achieve all my dreams in life slowly but surely because I know that achieving a dream is not that easy. You need to strive hard and face all the consequences that will come along your way.”

Baculio, Gabriel Luis wrote:

“I would be an airplane because I want to soar as high as I can. I want to achieve my highest dreams and in that dream I want many people with me too. Like an airplane, after a long journey it lands and I believe that even if I already achieved

my dreams I will never forget to look back to where I came from and thank the people behind my success.”

Nail Polish with Love

I was never been a huge fan of polishing one’s nails before. I was deluded with the thought that only rich people paint their nails. Innocent and naïve I was before, you cannot blame me for thinking this way. Somehow I find it fit when I saw rich people coming out from their flashy cars and strut their way with those strappy sandals with fiery red nails. But despite it all, I was secretly fantasizing myself on that same picture – emerging from a car with my little black dress donned with a strappy stiletto and of course with sexy red nails. It made me feel so glamorous and important.

When I grew older, I’ve learned that anyone regardless of status quo can wear nail polish. Who are you kidding with when in fact our neighbor’s housemaids were mostly seen with painted nails? That’s when I started painting mine… but mind you, I only paint my toenails. My reason? It sound stupid now but the only reason why I only paint my toenails before was because I felt ashamed being seen with painted nails in public. To top that, how could the public even notice my toenails when I often wear rubber shoes? Hahahaha…

But today, it’s a different story. I do polish my nails from time to time just to relieve stress from work and everything. I found it comforting and at the same time it made my feet look sexy and pampered. I don’t spend much for professionals to polish my nails because most of the time I do it myself. It’s way cheaper for one thing and I could always change the color whenever I like.

Like I’ve said, I’m not much of a fan of polishing nails but I’m very grateful for the existence of nail polishes. Why? This has always been the bonding moment of me and my little princess. Only 4 years old but she knows her colors and she knows her way on applying it on her nails. Would I trade it on anything? No way… I wouldn’t get tired of painting my nails over and over again as long as I’m sharing it with my little princess. That’s heaven over there….

me and my little princess

If luck would side with me this time... I'm super excited to share this experience with her... and paint our nails until we worn ourselves out...

♥http://kelliegonzo.blogspot.com/2010/08/special-k-giveaway.html♥

♥http://www.thepolishaholic.com/2010/09/300-follower-giveaway.html♥

words...

Words are limited as I sit here writing this note. I am annoyed because I feel so much inside and it’s threatening to explode any minute. But despite the raging waves of emotions I feel, I am annoyed simply because for the lack of words.

Why now? Why not later? I needed words to express myself; to free me from this bondage that locked me down. I needed words to console myself and to remind me that all I need is to hope that everything will be alright. I needed words just as I needed air to breathe. Where are my words when I needed them so badly?

As I wait for the right words to engulf me and free me from this desolation, I cringed away from the world where I existed. I drift away to nothingness and allow numbness to envelope my entire body. That way I know I’ll be safe… this is my haven.

I’ll wait…