A Whisper to a Rose

Every single idle moment I have, I remember that night. How can I forget? It was the night my heart broke into a million shards. The road for me was forever blocked, no forks to decide which way to go after this. There’s no turning back, only to move forward. But the question is, where is forward?

I was lost. I forgot how to live. A part of me died that night. And now, I’m like a walking dead; empty and hollow. Wondering and questioning fate for bringing this into my plate. I am mess. I am a wreck. I don’t know how to help myself. But I have to make a strong front. I have to...

Months have passed and yet the feeling of being buried alive is still too strong. I am stuck and confused. My mind wanted to let go and move on but my stubborn heart kept on holding on. Hoping that maybe one day, he’ll get to realize the mistake he’d done. Pathetic I may have been to others but I cannot fool my heart. It has reasons that my mind couldn’t understand. Letting go would simply mean goodbye and forgetting. I don’t want to forget even if it hurts so much. I don’t want to forget everything that we have shared. But that’s just me, and not you.

The days have become so dragging. Being away from you and not being able to communicate with you is just too much to handle. My heart breaks knowing that you’re just near and yet you seemed so far away. The silence between us is so deafening. I missed the days when talking to you was as easy as breathing. I miss the sound of your voice and the warmth of your smile. I miss the way you look at me with those brown eyes and the way your brows tensed up every time you hold back a smile. I miss the way our hands collide as if it were perfectly matched. I miss everything about you but I wonder if you ever missed me too.

Since that night, I was never the same. You did this to me, stole a part of me. How can I go on living with a missing piece? Can I ever be happy again?

I know, I have to let you go. The soonest would be better. It is only my heart that is the problem, because no matter how I reasoned with it, it just won’t listen. It has been too painful already. Knowing that everything was lost in the abyss, you’re not coming back. I know my heart can only hold so much pain, but right now it’s too numb yet to feel anything. I just worry that I might get used to the pain so much that it won’t matter anymore.

For now, I could only hope for your happiness. May you be happy without me… May she be able to make you happy… Your happiness means so much for me, even if it means my downfall I will endure it. I could never thank you enough for coming into my life. I never thought someone like you really exists. More so, I never ever thought that someone like you would make me feel special.

It’s not yet goodbye my Rose. I couldn’t even imagine saying goodbye to you. But for now, I have to say something. Something to make me feel a bit better and to remind myself that despite everything, I still have to live. So let me say – Till then my Rose…

#ChroniclesOfRose

Betrayed By A Rose

Looking from a far

    I stare...

Lost in the trance of your beauty.

Your crimson color

    burried me deep,

In a spell enchanted

    and serene.

Your scent elated me up

The pedestal is where I'm at.

Your beautty sacred and divine

My Rose, my love,

    Are you still mine?

The feel of your touch

    I miss...

The warmth of your presence

    My heavenly bliss...

My eyes deceive me

    But I know you're there

Why can't I feel you?

    Do you still care?

Tears fell like pouring rain

The sadness is maddening

    I can no longer breathe.

My heart's constricted

    I'm out of air.

Oh my Rose, why can't you feel?

You've grown hard

    almost surreal

Your thorns they cut me

    two times more deep.

You broke your promise

    you said you'll keep

Why betray me my Rose?

    I weep...

#ChroniclesOfRose

The Fallen Rose

And I’m at the sea of storms

Trapped in this desolation.

Where waves surge high

Drowning me to my death bed.

The ship has sank,

The storm raged on.

I couldn’t breathe,

I couldn’t go on.

The wind is howling,

Barking mad at me.

It showed me no mercy

I was swept off at sea.

The pain was overwhelming

I cried a thousand tears.

But even then I did it so

It’s no use, I’m barely breathing.

#ChroniclesOfRose

Broken Rose

My eyes have a mind of their own.

They never listen.

They never care.

Tears are free flowing.

They never cooperate.

My heart has a mind of its own too.

Stubborn and irrational.

Cannot be reasoned coz it’s blinded.

Emotional now that it is wounded.

Broken coz it won’t listen.

My mind was ripped off of pride.

No longer the boss.

No longer the most supreme high.

Its grace has fallen.

Forgotten.

So from here, where do I run?

Where do I go?

Who shall I turn to?

When the who I used to be,

Is gone?

Comfort has become an illusion.

The Rose became a myth.

Its beauty faded into the realms of time.

I was alone.

#ChroniclesOfRose

Rose

I was lost in this queer place.

I was alone.

I seek for cover and comfort.

But it was never there to find.

No beacon of light to hope.

There was nothing there for me.

I walked on, shoulder slumped.

Devastated. Broken.

But just when I thought all hope is gone,

One flower pulled me back from the pit of death.

Alone and standing proud,

Its crimson beauty held my ground.

Stunned by its glory,

I was alive again.

And so without hesitation I plucked it.

I was at the pedestal.

I was no longer alone.

I have my Rose to accompany in this lonely journey.

Fleeting as the happiness came,

Pain swiftly cut through me like a wind passing.

My heart was broken into a million shards.

My world crumbled as my Rose withered away.

No sunshine can bring my Rose back.

No amount of tears can surmount the loss.

My selfishness, consumed its beauty.

My desperation killed my Rose.

And so alone I took the road again.

Broken. Dead. 

#ChroniclesOfRose

D'Rose

Over time I walked through this barren road

No splendid things not once my eyes behold,

I walked far and didn't turn back

For there's nothing there to hold me back.

And then I came across this lowly meadow

My eyes drowned from its vibrant colors,

I breathe in the sweet scent of hope 

As I sank deeper into the kaleidoscope.

But amidst the scent and the clash of colors

One flower caught my heart and soul.

The way it stood alone and proud

I knew right then I am found.

I gaze through its spell bound beauty

My heart ached to the comfort of its sanctuary.

I want to touch it...

I want to feel it...

Knowing that with it, I'll be whole again.

And so I draw myself nearer

And every step I take I fall deeper.

My rose, my heart exclaimed,

At last I found you - My rose, my Love.

But with your beauty comes your thorns

You cut me deep and my heart was torn.

I wept and bled but I didn't mind

Because deep inside I know you're mine.

I tried to keep you all to myself

Tried to hide you from stray passers by.

But your color starts to fade

Your flower withered as I hold your place.

My heart sank as you withered away

Fear engulfed me as I cry.

Losing you I could never survive

I must make a way

I can't just leave you and die.

And so I distanced myself.

Every step backward is torture.

Watching you from afar I cannot stand it

But for you I will endure anything.

Days passed and your color returns

I was mesmerized yet again with your beauty.

But now I know I couldn't be with you

Even if my heart says with you is where I should be.

My Rose, do know my heart's thine yours

Part of me will always be yours.

From then on...

You'll be the Beauty enclosed forever in my heart

And as for me, I'll be your Beast.

#ChroniclesOfRose