These tears have been threatening to fall for quite some time now. It’s getting heavier everyday and my heart’s sinking deeper and deeper into the world of numbness. If only it would now fall and together with it release the pain out from my heart. I’m tired looking for reasons for it to finally fall and end this misery that’s weighing me down. I’m tired wearing this smile and project happiness to others when in fact deep down inside I’m howling with grief. This façade has taking its toll on me and every effort to pretend that I’m ok with this is like sucking out my soul. I know its okay to cry and I know it’s not a crime. But why am I having such a hard time letting it out? Crying used to be a piece of cake and tears flow out as easy as breathing. But not now…when I really wanted to and especially that I feel so heavy inside.
Before, I used to call tears traitor because they easily betray me. When I’m mad they fell even if I don’t want them to. Same also when I’m happy they fell – so much of a traitor. But now when I needed them so much, what are they doing? Being a traitor as always I guess – just threatening but never coming down.
Now I’m left again to waiting… and I’m no fan of waiting. Especially not now because I know I am hurting and my brain’s not acknowledging it – she’s more like denying it and that’s why tears won’t fall easily like they used to be. So I wait…
1 comments:
Sometimes, the eyes get tired of crying while the heart continue it's whining. All we can do is to keep breathing. For what's the use of crying if the world ain't listening?
Ahw, parang kanta. :)
Post a Comment