L♥VE

Nothing is permanent in this world. The things that surround us will eventually be gone. From the clothes we wear, to the people we’re with and even the treasures we valued so dearly will soon be part of a memory.

But nevertheless, life must go on… We continue to build relationships with other people, collect things and keep them and of course make memories that would last us a lifetime. Life is too short to be taken for granted. Life is too mysterious to be deciphered. Life is what is presented to us each day and it’s up to us how we take it and make use of it.

In this month of Love, may we celebrate the goodness that is buried deep in our hearts. Let’s forget the pangs and obscurities brought about by hatred and anger. Let love flow freely in our hearts no matter what our status are – be it single, married or complicated.

Love is a gift… and just like any other things in this world, it’s not permanent. Be grateful that love has come your way. Rejoice that despite the chaotic mess of this world, love still exists. Share Love, not Hate.

Beauty - Gift or Curse

They say beauty is a gift. Many have coveted it and even died for it. The pages of our history are no stranger as to how beauty was rejoices and worshipped even before technology and cosmetics were born.

I am beautiful. Yes, I am because that’s what I always hear from my parents since I was a kid. Physically - I might be. If drawing in attention from other people would serve as proof, then I might be beautiful. But who cares?

Being beautiful is not always a good thing, at least for me. I believe that being beautiful is also a responsibility. There are perks that most people enjoy and love for being beautiful – what is FAME and being POPULAR? I bet most people would die to be famous and being in the spotlight always. But not me… And yet I would be a hypocrite if I’ll say I didn’t enjoy it too, because at some point I did.

Nevertheless, for me beauty is a curse. It’s not something you should flaunt to other people and be proud of it like it’s an achievement. I admit that most of the time, I’m not happy with it. It made my life a chaotic mess. There are people who hated me because of what I am. What makes it inconceivable is that I don’t know what I did to them for them to hate me this much. For one thing, I don’t even know them and yet they seemed to b e very happy to see me suffer. I don’t get it why I have to watch every move I make. One wrong move and they feasted. From the clothes I wear, the way I comb my hair and to the people I’m with, I have to be very vigilant. Otherwise, they’ll have more reasons to talk about me and celebrate. If I’m not beautiful, I wouldn’t have to go through all of these.

I wanted a simple life. A life where I can be who I am – no pressure from other people. A life where I can freely wear anything I want and be with people without worrying what others think. Is that too much to ask?

Guesses and Anticipation

As the days draw nearer, anticipation heightens and nervousness escalates. My dreams of our little boy become more vivid and I can’t help myself from wondering to whom he would resemble most. I would be too happy if he would look more like me or say, Phil Younghusband – hahahaha… (dream on girl). But anyhow, whether he would look more of his dad or me it doesn’t matter that much as long as he’ll be healthy and be delivered safely. What more could a mother hope for, right?

Counting the weeks until he comes brings with it a colorful sensation not only to me but to the entire family. This only means that we are indeed excited for the coming of our little prince. My daughter could not even hide her excitement that she wishes almost every day that her baby brother would come out the next day. That certain look on her face as she awaits for her little brother melts my heart.

Here are some of the guesses on my actual delivery made by a few of my wonderful friends during my unusual yet unique baby shower (a million thanks to the organizers!):

March 2, 2012 at 8pm (Jett)

March 3, 2012 at 8pm (Marco)

March 13, 2012 at 1pm (Dorothy)

March 13, 2012 at 4-5pm (Bon)

March 15, 2012 at 1pm (Jude John)

March 18, 2012 at 1pm (Don)

March 22, 2012 at 2-3pm (Jester)

March 25, 2012 at 7pm (Mac2x)

Guesses are made and yet it’s up to little Xalken Caleb “Xian” C. Dy now as to when he feels like coming out… ♥

My 2011

JANUARY and FEBRUARY passed by so swiftly…

MARCH came and my MBA batchmates graduated, leaving a fair few of us behind. We can’t blame them for graduating ahead of us, since it was our choice not to take full load every semester. Congrats guys!!! I will surely miss our late night chikas and weekend poker session at Rowena’s place and sure do the baluts and bukos at dawn…

APRIL came…

And MAY… the end of the world they said… I surely can’t forget our Midway escapade… the floating bar (sa maka-relate nlng.. hahaha). This escapade has been one of the highlights of this year. Why? Simply because after all the fun we had at Midway and Pryce Plaza Hotel, I was rushed to the hospital the night we came home… hahaha…

I can’t remember if I celebrated my 27^th birthday. I have no recollection whatsoever and I don’t have a picture or so to remind me of… except that one taken a day before my birthday and there happened to be a cake in the office so I grabbed the opportunity and had a picture with it. But nevertheless, JUNE marked our 6^th year wedding anniversary. My parents were so thoughtful that they prepared a simple feast for us.

JULY‘s the turning point of my life… and why was that so? I got pregnant!!!!

Hhhhmmm…AUGUST – the month of hormones… hahahaha… just cause morning sickness was at its peak and of course who would forget the YOUNGHUSBANDs! So basically, this month’s all about hormones. But wait, August wouldn’t be complete without the infamous makeover of my little girl…

I needed a break… I was diagnosed twice already for threatened abortion and all I wanted was a family vacation. And SEPTEMBER was the key… I sure do had fun during our 4 day vacation at Manila. A lot of first time experiences happened – Xyrah’s 1^st close encounter with an artista and my sister’s 1^st time to wear a 2-piece swimsuit to name a few.

OCTOBER went by… and work was something you cannot avoid. But change was coming… and it was coming so fast…

Speaking of change, NOVEMBER was the emotional month… Gerald‘s new job required him to be away from us. It’s something I anticipated but never actually hoped will happened so soon. Indeed, a very big adjustment for me considering my pregnancy and all and of course to my little as well who just turned 6 this month. Tears fell heavily during this month. And oh! It’s a boy!!!

DECEMBER, another year ender… but what a year ender for me really! I was hospitalized for a week and a week after that Sendong came. But no worries, I survived… I’m grateful that despite being homeless I am still alive…

The Pink Diary April 25, 2009

I often wonder why Goodbye is associated with pain. Isn’t it enough that the other one was left behind? And why is it more painful and harder when the one person whom you cared and mattered to you left you without saying goodbye? And why is it too much to take in when that person left you twice without saying goodbye?

Why should it matter anyway? Just because he’s your bestfriend that it would hurt you that much? I don’t know what to believe in and what to hope for… for I was drowned by the nostalgia and the pain was way overboard.

I wanted to blame him for the pain it cost me but I think blaming him would be too selfish for me. I shouldn’t have expected in the first place. Him coming home, I wasn’t part of the plan… I was just an addition…wait I didn’t even pass for a mere addition... I think I just happened to be there and he had to deal with. No! He hasn’t dealt me or anything… It was purely business that he even talked to me… But somehow I’m glad that despite the circumstance, I was able to have a short chat with him – even the simple “Hi and hello”- I was grateful for that.

And now, I guess I’ll just have to endure the pain which I think was self inflicted. But I rather not believe it coz I know as my friend he has to let me know – does he?

*** Originally written April 25, 2009

Walking Through Memory Lane

Looking back across memory lane
Always brought brightness to my day
The fun and laughter we used to share
Lifts my soul high up in the air.

The many battles we used to face
Left its mark for me to trace
May it be complex or simple
May it be mere complications or involving people.

Criticisms clawed their way to us
Trying hard to break the friendship they misconstrued as something else
But never had our bond faltered
For what we have cannot be easily altered.

Our friendship moved way more than the ordinary
For our personalities are unique against the contrary
Let them tear, let them break
But what we have cannot be a mistake.

And now that you too will be moving on
And I cannot be left upon
For now, we both could share same things
Just like when were still but naïve little human beings…

Your wedding day will be the epitome of your new life
And I, your friend will be there with them to guide
May you be blessed just like me (hehehe..)
For what more can I ask from God above but to
Give my dearest friend the biggest luck!

***Originally written April 8, 2009

Dreams

I longed to touch the moon and sing with the stars high above the terrestrial sky. Run wild and free as the wind trailed behind me. I longed to kiss the sun and radiant the sparkles of sunshine in my skin. I drowned myself with this reverie; in this trance where I could be in places I never thought I could be.

I covet to follow the light that would lead me to the gate of wonders and fill my heart with bliss and excitement. To share this brimming feeling inside me with the people I thought was not possible. Never minding the forces of the universe that would only bring me down because I know to where I am now, I am free and there’s no strings attached.

This is the one place that everything is all about me. A place where I could be anyone and be with anyone at any place possible. It is the place where impossible things happen. There’s no other place I would want than this for this is mine… my dreams… my fortress of solitude.