Beauty - Gift or Curse

They say beauty is a gift. Many have coveted it and even died for it. The pages of our history are no stranger as to how beauty was rejoices and worshipped even before technology and cosmetics were born.

I am beautiful. Yes, I am because that’s what I always hear from my parents since I was a kid. Physically - I might be. If drawing in attention from other people would serve as proof, then I might be beautiful. But who cares?

Being beautiful is not always a good thing, at least for me. I believe that being beautiful is also a responsibility. There are perks that most people enjoy and love for being beautiful – what is FAME and being POPULAR? I bet most people would die to be famous and being in the spotlight always. But not me… And yet I would be a hypocrite if I’ll say I didn’t enjoy it too, because at some point I did.

Nevertheless, for me beauty is a curse. It’s not something you should flaunt to other people and be proud of it like it’s an achievement. I admit that most of the time, I’m not happy with it. It made my life a chaotic mess. There are people who hated me because of what I am. What makes it inconceivable is that I don’t know what I did to them for them to hate me this much. For one thing, I don’t even know them and yet they seemed to b e very happy to see me suffer. I don’t get it why I have to watch every move I make. One wrong move and they feasted. From the clothes I wear, the way I comb my hair and to the people I’m with, I have to be very vigilant. Otherwise, they’ll have more reasons to talk about me and celebrate. If I’m not beautiful, I wouldn’t have to go through all of these.

I wanted a simple life. A life where I can be who I am – no pressure from other people. A life where I can freely wear anything I want and be with people without worrying what others think. Is that too much to ask?

Guesses and Anticipation

As the days draw nearer, anticipation heightens and nervousness escalates. My dreams of our little boy become more vivid and I can’t help myself from wondering to whom he would resemble most. I would be too happy if he would look more like me or say, Phil Younghusband – hahahaha… (dream on girl). But anyhow, whether he would look more of his dad or me it doesn’t matter that much as long as he’ll be healthy and be delivered safely. What more could a mother hope for, right?

Counting the weeks until he comes brings with it a colorful sensation not only to me but to the entire family. This only means that we are indeed excited for the coming of our little prince. My daughter could not even hide her excitement that she wishes almost every day that her baby brother would come out the next day. That certain look on her face as she awaits for her little brother melts my heart.

Here are some of the guesses on my actual delivery made by a few of my wonderful friends during my unusual yet unique baby shower (a million thanks to the organizers!):

March 2, 2012 at 8pm (Jett)

March 3, 2012 at 8pm (Marco)

March 13, 2012 at 1pm (Dorothy)

March 13, 2012 at 4-5pm (Bon)

March 15, 2012 at 1pm (Jude John)

March 18, 2012 at 1pm (Don)

March 22, 2012 at 2-3pm (Jester)

March 25, 2012 at 7pm (Mac2x)

Guesses are made and yet it’s up to little Xalken Caleb “Xian” C. Dy now as to when he feels like coming out… ♥

My 2011

JANUARY and FEBRUARY passed by so swiftly…

MARCH came and my MBA batchmates graduated, leaving a fair few of us behind. We can’t blame them for graduating ahead of us, since it was our choice not to take full load every semester. Congrats guys!!! I will surely miss our late night chikas and weekend poker session at Rowena’s place and sure do the baluts and bukos at dawn…

APRIL came…

And MAY… the end of the world they said… I surely can’t forget our Midway escapade… the floating bar (sa maka-relate nlng.. hahaha). This escapade has been one of the highlights of this year. Why? Simply because after all the fun we had at Midway and Pryce Plaza Hotel, I was rushed to the hospital the night we came home… hahaha…

I can’t remember if I celebrated my 27^th birthday. I have no recollection whatsoever and I don’t have a picture or so to remind me of… except that one taken a day before my birthday and there happened to be a cake in the office so I grabbed the opportunity and had a picture with it. But nevertheless, JUNE marked our 6^th year wedding anniversary. My parents were so thoughtful that they prepared a simple feast for us.

JULY‘s the turning point of my life… and why was that so? I got pregnant!!!!

Hhhhmmm…AUGUST – the month of hormones… hahahaha… just cause morning sickness was at its peak and of course who would forget the YOUNGHUSBANDs! So basically, this month’s all about hormones. But wait, August wouldn’t be complete without the infamous makeover of my little girl…

I needed a break… I was diagnosed twice already for threatened abortion and all I wanted was a family vacation. And SEPTEMBER was the key… I sure do had fun during our 4 day vacation at Manila. A lot of first time experiences happened – Xyrah’s 1^st close encounter with an artista and my sister’s 1^st time to wear a 2-piece swimsuit to name a few.

OCTOBER went by… and work was something you cannot avoid. But change was coming… and it was coming so fast…

Speaking of change, NOVEMBER was the emotional month… Gerald‘s new job required him to be away from us. It’s something I anticipated but never actually hoped will happened so soon. Indeed, a very big adjustment for me considering my pregnancy and all and of course to my little as well who just turned 6 this month. Tears fell heavily during this month. And oh! It’s a boy!!!

DECEMBER, another year ender… but what a year ender for me really! I was hospitalized for a week and a week after that Sendong came. But no worries, I survived… I’m grateful that despite being homeless I am still alive…