Me and My Tantrums

I’m at the fork again. Different paths are laid down upon me and I don’t know which way to go. A part of me wanted so bad to give in to the demands of my heart but the other side is robustly opposing. It has been months since I've been stubbornly denying the tantrums of my heart. And as days flew by, these tantrums are but utterly overwhelming. I have my reasons though of why I’m doing this and not the other way around. I've grown tired of these tantrums. It did me nothing but frustrations and disappointments. I have so many of these already to last me a lifetime and another dose of it is just too much for me.

However, no matter what justification I tell myself that I’m better off like this; it is still not enough. I am pushed further back in to the dark abyss of despair. And I don’t blame anyone else but myself. I dragged myself into this alley of desolation where my only comfort was silence and nothingness. And I don’t like it here, this isn't a happy place.

So I asked myself, what now? After all the ups and downs, the struggles of not giving in; what’s next of me? Is this the end of my strong front? Is giving up the next option? Is there still hope for me?

 So many questions… so many words… but what really is the answer?