The Pink Diary April 25, 2009

I often wonder why Goodbye is associated with pain. Isn’t it enough that the other one was left behind? And why is it more painful and harder when the one person whom you cared and mattered to you left you without saying goodbye? And why is it too much to take in when that person left you twice without saying goodbye?

Why should it matter anyway? Just because he’s your bestfriend that it would hurt you that much? I don’t know what to believe in and what to hope for… for I was drowned by the nostalgia and the pain was way overboard.

I wanted to blame him for the pain it cost me but I think blaming him would be too selfish for me. I shouldn’t have expected in the first place. Him coming home, I wasn’t part of the plan… I was just an addition…wait I didn’t even pass for a mere addition... I think I just happened to be there and he had to deal with. No! He hasn’t dealt me or anything… It was purely business that he even talked to me… But somehow I’m glad that despite the circumstance, I was able to have a short chat with him – even the simple “Hi and hello”- I was grateful for that.

And now, I guess I’ll just have to endure the pain which I think was self inflicted. But I rather not believe it coz I know as my friend he has to let me know – does he?

*** Originally written April 25, 2009