I’m at the fork again. Different
paths are laid down upon me and I don’t know which way to go. A part of me
wanted so bad to give in to the demands of my heart but the other side is
robustly opposing. It has been months since I've been stubbornly denying the
tantrums of my heart. And as days flew by, these tantrums are but utterly
overwhelming. I have my reasons though of why I’m doing this and not the other
way around. I've grown tired of these tantrums. It did me nothing but
frustrations and disappointments. I have so many of these already to last me a
lifetime and another dose of it is just too much for me.
However, no matter what
justification I tell myself that I’m better off like this; it is still not
enough. I am pushed further back in to the dark abyss of despair. And I don’t
blame anyone else but myself. I dragged myself into this alley of desolation
where my only comfort was silence and nothingness. And I don’t like it here,
this isn't a happy place.
So I asked myself, what now?
After all the ups and downs, the struggles of not giving in; what’s next of me?
Is this the end of my strong front? Is giving up the next option? Is there
still hope for me?
So many questions… so many words… but what
really is the answer?
