The Pink Diary April 25, 2009

I often wonder why Goodbye is associated with pain. Isn’t it enough that the other one was left behind? And why is it more painful and harder when the one person whom you cared and mattered to you left you without saying goodbye? And why is it too much to take in when that person left you twice without saying goodbye?

Why should it matter anyway? Just because he’s your bestfriend that it would hurt you that much? I don’t know what to believe in and what to hope for… for I was drowned by the nostalgia and the pain was way overboard.

I wanted to blame him for the pain it cost me but I think blaming him would be too selfish for me. I shouldn’t have expected in the first place. Him coming home, I wasn’t part of the plan… I was just an addition…wait I didn’t even pass for a mere addition... I think I just happened to be there and he had to deal with. No! He hasn’t dealt me or anything… It was purely business that he even talked to me… But somehow I’m glad that despite the circumstance, I was able to have a short chat with him – even the simple “Hi and hello”- I was grateful for that.

And now, I guess I’ll just have to endure the pain which I think was self inflicted. But I rather not believe it coz I know as my friend he has to let me know – does he?

*** Originally written April 25, 2009

Walking Through Memory Lane

Looking back across memory lane
Always brought brightness to my day
The fun and laughter we used to share
Lifts my soul high up in the air.

The many battles we used to face
Left its mark for me to trace
May it be complex or simple
May it be mere complications or involving people.

Criticisms clawed their way to us
Trying hard to break the friendship they misconstrued as something else
But never had our bond faltered
For what we have cannot be easily altered.

Our friendship moved way more than the ordinary
For our personalities are unique against the contrary
Let them tear, let them break
But what we have cannot be a mistake.

And now that you too will be moving on
And I cannot be left upon
For now, we both could share same things
Just like when were still but naïve little human beings…

Your wedding day will be the epitome of your new life
And I, your friend will be there with them to guide
May you be blessed just like me (hehehe..)
For what more can I ask from God above but to
Give my dearest friend the biggest luck!

***Originally written April 8, 2009

Dreams

I longed to touch the moon and sing with the stars high above the terrestrial sky. Run wild and free as the wind trailed behind me. I longed to kiss the sun and radiant the sparkles of sunshine in my skin. I drowned myself with this reverie; in this trance where I could be in places I never thought I could be.

I covet to follow the light that would lead me to the gate of wonders and fill my heart with bliss and excitement. To share this brimming feeling inside me with the people I thought was not possible. Never minding the forces of the universe that would only bring me down because I know to where I am now, I am free and there’s no strings attached.

This is the one place that everything is all about me. A place where I could be anyone and be with anyone at any place possible. It is the place where impossible things happen. There’s no other place I would want than this for this is mine… my dreams… my fortress of solitude.